31-Aug-2006

Insomnia recently.......

Sometimes cannot sleep until midnight; even force myself go to bed earlier, wake up deep in the night naturally.  I don't know why, seem many things around my brain but cannot be solved.

Job issue is one of the reason.  So many murmuring from teammates recently, workload allocation, skill achievement, attitude, agents' behaviour and fake cases, comparing the workload with the others....  Some teammates already told me that they has job pressure, I spent most of the time in motivation and encouragement individually.  It's my role to provide guidance, coaching and assist on pressure releasing to them. 

However, it makes me feel frustration.  I also have press from the team issues, sales parties, also from my boss.  I'm now in the crossroad, I cannot get any assistance and supporting, all parties only waiting for my action and decision.  I'm now fighting by myself.

I really want to start my further study in early next year.  Under this circumstances, it's hard for me to get the balance.  I don't want to go back to the weight-lossing status.  No matter I stay in the current position or starting at the other area, I still need time on fine-tuning and adoption.  How can I cope with the heavy and intensive studying? 

It's now almost 5:00am, I just left bed at 4:30am after 4 hours sleep.  I must force myself to sleep awhile before sunrise, otherwise tomorrow will be a hard day for me to focus on my job.

23-Aug-2006

公司的紫羅蘭神奇地全部一起開花，現在辦公室的窗台好像小公園似的。同事說人旺或有好事發生，就會種什麼都開花的？？？

其實可能是心結解開了，人變得輕鬆，自然所有的東西都變得美好。

花開花謝，本是一個循環；當花謝了的時候，一定會有其他的花在盛放。

放眼遠方，展望未來，只要心中有信念，就會發現世界任何一個角落都是充滿色彩和希望的。

18-Aug-2006

今晚約了同事在灣仔打邊爐，太久沒有回灣仔吃飯了，原來在Super Sandwiches 對面開了一間新的德興火鍋。

我們大約在八時多到達，等了半個鍾還末有位，終於要等到九時多的特價時段，埋單都是每人百多元。食物都算新鮮，種類也多，開心的吃了一頓晚餐。

正當要結帳的時候，突然下起大雨來，我們坐到大約十二時多才離開。每次當我穿著白色長褲的時候，總是會下雨的，討厭．．．．．

回到家才知道已發出黃色暴雨警報．．．．．．

12-Aug-2006

Watched the fish fish for almost half an hour, sudden think they are actually happy or not, seems everyday someone should feed them, no need to worry about the future, a delux fish bowl is prepared for them and someone should clean it weekly.

Contradictorily, they lost their freedom, the moving area is only the fish bowl, cannot meet with the other fish from the river or lake, have no choice for the food...................

Just like the microcosm of human, different stage would have different adventure, different handling would have different outcome and totally make your future different.

Past was only memory storage and became misty and override by new adventure; present is used to improve your future, future should be built-up by your own in present.

"When you want the present to be better than the past, it is time to learn from the past.

When you want the future to be better than the present, it is time to plan for the future."

 (by Spencer Johnson, M.D.)

12-Aug-2006

什麼叫做情意結?

兒時的玩具捨不得丟; 經過老地方很自然的憶起某人; 看見某些物件令你想起一些以為忘記了的事…………

是好還是不好? 是否太過執著?

當你能夠將過去所有的包袱拋開, 再看看現在身邊擁有的一切, 應該覺得很滿足, 也發覺原來上天待你也很好。

過份執著的人只會增加自己和別人的煩惱及苦痛，懂得知足和珍惜現在的人才是最幸福的。

9-Aug-2006

不知道何故今天心情奇差

…不想說話

…不想聽電話

…不想吃東西

…想避世

…簡直想死

又打風了, 唔打風就勁熱, 救命啊!!

無心情, 不寫了, 收筆………………

4-Aug-2006

I had dinner at papa's side tonight.  I know that papa always made something which is my favour when I back and hope me to eat more.

  I'll stay until tomorrow, it seems back to my child life whom I had lots of memories here. 

I'm so glad that many colleagues always phoned/email/MSN me and asked for my current status. They still eager to keep close contact with me, date me for lunch/dinner and take care me very much.  Such friendship is my valuable treasure throughout my career, even my whole life. 

I should not have any regret for any decisions I had made before.  Time cannot be returned and everyone must focus to planning and enjoy their future life.  It is easy to say but difficult to execute.  However, I should satisfy with my current status and it is really better than many people.  Satisfy is an important source of happiness.

3-Aug-2006

Weather still unstable these few days.  Typhool signal no.3 is still hoisted for almost 2 days.  Wind are strong and with occasional heavy rain.  Many broken umbrellas are placed around the streets.

My mood just like the weather, occasional upset and lost of direction.  Something seem you can do better but actually it is not under your control.  Where is the code of standard inside people's mind?

In my opinion, the minimal code of standard is respect of your work, understand the own positioning and respect the others.  I don't expect everyone to pay all the attention to their work and with the superior performance.  However, punctuality, attitude, quality of work, which are the most basic requirement to achieve...........

I just like the ham inside the sandwich, with the pressure from oustaide parties and management; some of the staff are below standard and hard to motivate.  There is a chain reaction and difficult to have improvement at this moment.

For those obeident and hard working staff, I know it is unfair to them and I always push them to do better.  But it is the only thing that I can do and have to wait for occasion for staff exchange or any other job rotation / reassignment.

As a manager, the team performance and productivity is equal to my performance.  That's mean my job performance is below standard also.  It's the fact......................