9-Apr-2008

今天又是繁忙的一天。

由朝到晚的無事忙；忙於處理部門的大小事務；忙於閱讀文件，看完之後還要寫報告；忙到email又满了，满到不能收發，要整理一下。Email根本多至沒有辨法看得完，unread的balance常常保持在一百以上。

明早又要開會，一頁頁厚厚的文件拿了回家都沒有心機看，明早在上班途上才看吧！看得了多少就多少，不然開會的時候眼光光的，都不知道別人在說什麼………

人事的變動沒完沒了的，真的令人很心煩，很多的事情自己又沒法控制，好討厭呀！！

下午有其他部門的同事來探望和我去吃下午茶，剛巧電話又響個不停，真是想有一餐安樂茶飯也不行…………

 

1-Aug-2007

究竟一個精神病人在想什麼的呢？

最近在雜誌看到外國有一個對精神病人的研究。研究說他們都活在一個自己幻想的世界中，有的活在心中理想的國度，完全看不見其他人；有的因為曾經受過負面的刺激，終日活在惶恐和害怕中；有的可能會把自己代入成另一個人或角色，郤能夠自得其樂。

對於他們身邊的人可能是一個遺憾，但是真正的感覺 － 開心、不開心、痛苦、釋放、自由．．．．，就只有他們自己才知道和感受到。對他們來說，可能比活在這個多事之秋更好。

31-Jul-2007

待人寬、律己嚴．．．．．．．

待人寬的意思是要包容別人，寬恕別人的錯誤和過失，還是給人一個步步進迫的機會？只是自己單向的待人寬，而身旁的人都把你的大方看成理所當然，不就等於把自己處於下風，永遠的只有單方面的付出！雖然付出是應該不問收穫的，才能做到世界大同，但當需要別人幫助而得不到援手和諒解，誰都會有洩氣的時候。究竟又有多少人真的能做到待人寬呢？？

律己嚴就是對自己要有要求，才能夠有不斷的進步。一直一直的向前跑，郤永遠看不到終點；又或者已經到了一個終點，其實又只是另一個新起點　—　聽落好像有一點把自己‘迫埋牆角’，死不冥目似的，真恐怖。但是再想深一層，在這個弱肉强食的社會，不對自己嚴格一點，就會被別人拋離，被社會淘汰的了。

待人寬、律己嚴，說易做難，尢其在這個講求利益關係的時代。就算真的能夠做得到，都只有被其他人當成是傻瓜。

24-Jun-2007

常常說人定勝天，真的可以嗎？

可是我們就是敵不過時間。時間過了就永遠不會再回頭，誰也改變不了。到底世界上有沒有令時間停頓的方法呢？？

2-Oct-2006

不知由可時開始，愛上了去Pacific Coffee及Starbuck避靜。

不是因為很喜歡飲咖啡 — 我根本不太能飲，因為飲了心會卟卟跳　—　只是很喜歡那裡的環境和氣氛。那裏有柔和的音樂，清簡的佈置，令人有一種很放鬆的感覺。縱使只是一個人靜靜的去看看書，或是與朋友聊天，都是不錯的選擇。

每當心情不好或是有想不通的煩惱的時候，那處就是我的避難所。吃一件精緻的蛋糕及喝一支新鮮的果汁，整個人就會放鬆不少。

17-Sep-2006

時間是人類最大的敵人，也是一個陪伴你一生的朋友。

一生之中的閱歷和經驗都是經過時間一點一滴的累積下來。當你覺得時間是浪費了，其實是因為經驗讓你領悟到之前的錯誤，所以不是浪費而是醒悟。能夠在錯誤中學習，找清楚自己之後應走的路，不要繼續重複錯誤，才是最重要的。

各人的際遇不同，不要常常拿自己和別人比較。當羨慕別人的成就時，試想想別人在背後付出的努力，才有今天的收成。再細想自己要成功，應該怎様做，才是正確的態度。

成功背後一定要付出努力。認清目標，朝目標前進，便能步向終點。

31-Aug-2006

Insomnia recently.......

Sometimes cannot sleep until midnight; even force myself go to bed earlier, wake up deep in the night naturally.  I don't know why, seem many things around my brain but cannot be solved.

Job issue is one of the reason.  So many murmuring from teammates recently, workload allocation, skill achievement, attitude, agents' behaviour and fake cases, comparing the workload with the others....  Some teammates already told me that they has job pressure, I spent most of the time in motivation and encouragement individually.  It's my role to provide guidance, coaching and assist on pressure releasing to them. 

However, it makes me feel frustration.  I also have press from the team issues, sales parties, also from my boss.  I'm now in the crossroad, I cannot get any assistance and supporting, all parties only waiting for my action and decision.  I'm now fighting by myself.

I really want to start my further study in early next year.  Under this circumstances, it's hard for me to get the balance.  I don't want to go back to the weight-lossing status.  No matter I stay in the current position or starting at the other area, I still need time on fine-tuning and adoption.  How can I cope with the heavy and intensive studying? 

It's now almost 5:00am, I just left bed at 4:30am after 4 hours sleep.  I must force myself to sleep awhile before sunrise, otherwise tomorrow will be a hard day for me to focus on my job.

12-Aug-2006

什麼叫做情意結?

兒時的玩具捨不得丟; 經過老地方很自然的憶起某人; 看見某些物件令你想起一些以為忘記了的事…………

是好還是不好? 是否太過執著?

當你能夠將過去所有的包袱拋開, 再看看現在身邊擁有的一切, 應該覺得很滿足, 也發覺原來上天待你也很好。

過份執著的人只會增加自己和別人的煩惱及苦痛，懂得知足和珍惜現在的人才是最幸福的。

9-Aug-2006

不知道何故今天心情奇差

…不想說話

…不想聽電話

…不想吃東西

…想避世

…簡直想死

又打風了, 唔打風就勁熱, 救命啊!!

無心情, 不寫了, 收筆………………

3-Aug-2006

Weather still unstable these few days.  Typhool signal no.3 is still hoisted for almost 2 days.  Wind are strong and with occasional heavy rain.  Many broken umbrellas are placed around the streets.

My mood just like the weather, occasional upset and lost of direction.  Something seem you can do better but actually it is not under your control.  Where is the code of standard inside people's mind?

In my opinion, the minimal code of standard is respect of your work, understand the own positioning and respect the others.  I don't expect everyone to pay all the attention to their work and with the superior performance.  However, punctuality, attitude, quality of work, which are the most basic requirement to achieve...........

I just like the ham inside the sandwich, with the pressure from oustaide parties and management; some of the staff are below standard and hard to motivate.  There is a chain reaction and difficult to have improvement at this moment.

For those obeident and hard working staff, I know it is unfair to them and I always push them to do better.  But it is the only thing that I can do and have to wait for occasion for staff exchange or any other job rotation / reassignment.

As a manager, the team performance and productivity is equal to my performance.  That's mean my job performance is below standard also.  It's the fact......................

25-Jul-2006

Why people only always have narrow sight and so demanding?  Always think themselves are the most hardest and with the most work to do than the others?

Of course, I understand it is the human norm that "I" is the most important party in the mind.  But they always spend their effort to keep notice of the others bad things, and do not consider that the effort and pressure the others paid before.

If those demanding people well use of the time to do something more meaningful, I dare to say they must have a better performance and must get the equivalent reward.

Sometimes I would introspection that am I really a fair manager to treat with each individual? I really don't know but I already try my best to do so.  However, why there are so many complaint and murmuring regarding the workload allocation, the new arrangement of job assignment.  Although the changing is not invlove to all, someone that not involve always with negative voice other than the involved party, so strange.....

I am going to die and don't know how to go on, 25 people with different personality, knowledge, skill, attitude and behaviour.  I know that it is impossible to please to all, but I can't tolerate they have so many complaint not related to their tasks but only always compare with the others day by day.......

2-Jul-2006

Just finished the book  "How To Make Your Life Meaningful". 

Meaningful not only means reach all of the goals you set to yourself.  You can make your life meaningful in different ways. 

Enjoy your spare time with your friends and family; doing something that make you feel comfortable and relex, i.e. planting, shopping, even sleeping and eating; treat yourself well is the most important criteria of meaningful.....

Break the rule, doing something that you never think you'll do that.  Make your life different..... Is it so easy and simple? Find the comfort point for yourself and no need to concern about the consequence?

God already treat me very well.  People around me all treat me very well, family, friends, colleagues...... I can't find any enemies and someone that going to hurt me.

I recently keep asking myself many questions but no answers.  Maybe I already have the answers in my deep heart but too many concerns and worries of the conseqence; maybe I'm only escaping to face to it.  I really don't know, my brain is messy just like the weather...........

1-Jul-2006

Today is 1-July-2006.  New month start, new page start.

There would be many critical paths throughout your life.  If you make a decision of something, it would be happened with no U-turn, time is no waiting and cannot be returned.  Making a decision is hard and danger, you will not know the exact outcome coz many variations are existing.

Life is cruel, if you do something that want to retain a peace relationship, may be you're hurting both or others in our surrounding.  Both acceptance and rejection is difficult but you must get a balance in between.

Sometimes final decision cannot be made, it might because you're not exactly clear what you exactly want. Or there might be many many sound issues and consideration of the surrounding that make you confuse, afraid hurting someone and conflict are existing..........